I Have Been Changed And I Am Proud Of My Growth

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.” ― Stephen Chbosky

Yes, I have. In so many ways. For better or worse. I truly have changed a lot.

During the teenage years of my life, I used to be someone who had low self-esteem and struggled a lot with insecurities. I couldn’t express myself at all. Even though I used to write my diary but that wasn’t enough for me to let others know what all disturbed me from inside.

Expressing emotions and gaining understanding over it seemed to be the next to impossible thing. I used to ignore people if they tried to come closer to me for the same things, I never wanted to feel closer to them. That worked well, but it had its loopholes. I had to face the wrath of people, and some even labeled me as arrogant and a girl of higher standards without knowing for a second that I was coming from a damaged family.

After crossing 30’s, it felt like I was given a new birth, new life, new vision, and thoughts. I started expressing myself a lot. If I felt depressed, anxious, and suicidal, I conveyed the same. I didn’t hide it. I didn’t feel like hiding anything. I was becoming more aware of myself and started keeping people behind me.

I can now see how the whole game changed for me when I connected with myself.

I don’t hesitate anymore. Accept me or leave me that’s the kind of attitude I have now, and it’s not arrogance or egoistic attitude. I deserve better because I know who I am. It took me years of depression and anxious thoughts to realize that I deserve the best like anyone else. I don’t give a damn if someone wants to leave. The door is open, and they can. I wouldn’t stop them not because I don’t care but because I matter to myself more than others.

They all will fade away, but my soul and life are my responsibility, not theirs.

And nothing stays forever.

Even if I end up stopping them they wouldn’t stay because I am not going to make the same efforts every day. I make those efforts on…

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