Anchoring CALM States

Anchors are simple stimuli that have become associated with specific states. When activated, the anchor evokes the state with which it has become associated. Anchors can occur spontaneously through…

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The Bane of Sons of Narcissistic Fathers

Sons of narcissistic fathers are driven by lack of confidence. Raised by a self-centered, competitive, arrogant father, they feel like they can never measure up or are enough to garner their father’s approval. Their father may be absent or critical and controlling. He may belittle and shame his son’s mistakes, vulnerability, failures, or limitations, yet brag about him to his friends. He may boast about inflated versions of his achievements, while disparaging those of his son. A narcissistic father may ruthlessly bully or compete with his son in games, even when the boy is a less-capable child. Similarly, he may be jealous of his wife’s attention to the boy, compete with him, and flirt with his girlfriends or later wife.

When narcissistic fathers get involved with their son’s activities, some take over, micro-manage, or are hypercritical. Frequently, narcissists are perfectionists, so nothing their child does — or who he or she is — is good enough. Seeing their child as an extension of themselves, they become overly involved and control their son’s lives…

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