The Funniest Full Body Massage I Ever Had

HUMOR

And It Even Had a Bonus Happy Ending

I do my best to schedule a full body massage for myself every 2 weeks. Over the December holidays it’s a bit more challenging, since the general energy on the planet is a bit chaotic, and I’m pretty sensitive to that, so I try to stay indoors and wait for it to dissipate.

So I was really looking forward to today’s massage, since I skipped one in December. I felt like I was 2 weeks overdue.

It’s not like a pedicure, where your nails start to be overgrown. Not like your skin starts to build up extra layers, or your muscles start to atrophy, or any other weird thing.

It just felt like I might not be able to get into that fully relaxed zen meditative state that I enjoy so much on a massage table.

I was a bit late. Prior to my leaving for the appointment, an AirBnB guest from about 8 months ago appeared at my doorstep. He had some fantastic news about building a think tank for a huge new project he has going on, and he wants his team to come stay with me at my place. Because he wants them to be well nourished, rested, and in a safe space. And I was the first person who came to mind. I was so honored and humbled that he felt this way. His team is coming from all over the world. That’s just plain exciting!

So on the way to the massage, I started day dreaming about what that experience might be like. And I missed my exit. I probably would have kept driving all the way to Canada, but my body told me I really should turn around and go back and get on that massage table.

It’s a problem for me, staying grounded.

I was only a few minutes late though. I apologized for day dreaming.

When I got into the room, I was totally disoriented. My massage therapist had reconfigured everything. I felt like I just walked into one of those magical rooms in The Matrix. The only thing missing was a rotary phone.

After I got over the initial dizziness of all the furniture being moved around, he told me to undress to my level of comfort, which is, for me, totally naked. I slipped under the sheets, and waited for his return. He knocked on the door. “Ready?”

Related posts:

Preparing to evacuate from Hurricane Ian September 27, 2022 and then realizing the mandatory evacuation order was in place too late to leave, I was guided from Above to “shelter in place.” As I…

in the dead of winter. “earliest signs of spring” is published by Molly Skeen in House of Haiku.

During the teenage years of my life, I used to be someone who had low self-esteem and struggled a lot with insecurities. I couldn’t express myself at all. Even though I used to write my diary but…