Should Your Child Even Love You?

Only if they didn’t, it might help with the guilt

For more than the last decade, I have pushed through, endured, and worked harder than ever before to make sure my two kids and I had what we needed. Unlike some divorced single moms, I failed two years in. After a few decisions I had to make for our family I lost it all; my job, our car, our home, most of our personal belongings along with my self-respect. Yet still, neither of them missed a day telling me that they loved me.

So many times we reflect on our strengths, weaknesses and emotions as a parent. When parenting alone, there so many other factors that we have to weigh in about our level of parenting “greatness”, or lack thereof. This may be the issue.

When parenting is discussed or written about, the angle is sometimes how well (or not well) someone parents, how our parenting may be affected by the way we were parented, how much we want to give our children what we didn’t have, or more. It builds the doubt-factor instead of analyzing its path; it has its pothole and sunny skies as we grow.

Next-level parenting includes honestly trying to understand the needs, wants and goals of your children. Knowing what brings them joy and then enhancing what you’ve learned about them, will begin the positive breakdown. They have no idea ( and I’m so glad they don’t) of the fatigue and stress that happens while consistently caring for them — but I still feel that it is not enough. Of course they don’t know, and I try to hide those emotions. They’re grateful but I still wish there was more I could give.

My kids are so appreciative. Whatever I buy for them, they are grateful. Whatever is not purchased, they seem to understand. They even ask if an item is too much money sometimes. There is a level of mom-guilt that tries to seep in during these times. I’m reminded of what values I have taught my children: be kind, do what you love, be grateful, use empathy, among others. This is exactly who they are becoming. These are the perfect times to remind myself that I’m okay and so are they.

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