Letter

Hey,

I know I am not doing it right. I know I am not giving you enough of my time and presence, not listening, ignoring you completely. Blaming others for this negligence is easy, but I am not gonna do that, whatever was the problem, if I really wanted to be there I would have been there. It’s clear that you were not my priority. Maybe its like, I have taken you for granted, I know I am hurting you with each of these words, but that is truth, I want to be truthful, I am never dependable, never caring, harsh person and I want you to know more about me, more than what we had discussed today evening.

I always believed I knew myself really well, but time kept on shaking the belief until recently it was completely gone. Right now I don’t even now how all these kinds of thoughts are moving around my head. All about me, my self was just reflections of expectation people had in me. I believed I was the most caring person ever, but now I know that I can be the least caring one too. I know they really love me, but why on earth I am feeling blunt. What the fuck am I writing. KEEP EVERYTHING RAW! NO EDITING!POUR YOURSELF WITHOUT ANY FILTER!

so the guy who had just yelled at me, I have chosen him as my teacher,

a person who looks exactly like me, with the same knowledge, same memories, except that he is impulsive, imposing, arrogant and angry, a person who knows how to hurt me. someone to make sure I am never gonna lie to myself again.

And why the hell did we started following people, we have started this not to make you famous, to take us to..its not word destiny, some where i hope we would be at peace. All this is just a for a reference, in case you had to look back.

it doesn't matter if we are caring/not caring, lovable hateble, all those antonyms that are poles apart, its completely irrelevant. Take the thought that people are gonna read this, take that away, AWAY!

we have been holding on things inside and it all should come out, only if we know what the fuck is wrong, will we be able to do something for it,

I wanna go in search of myself.

And

And I dont know

And where do you think that’s gonna take you,

I dont know but i think its better than doing the usual.

Wait I think we really know what we are supposed to do,Lets stop this unnecessary talk, intended to get reminded which i believe has served its purpose.

Just always remember, we have reached, its the perspective that matters,

am i growing my ego, dunno whatever be the results i will do it, to see whether i am gonna get something out of it.

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